not much to say...
Just thank you. Thank you for this life. Thank you for my friends. Thank you for my family. Thank you for the people who have been in my life and who have left my life.
Thank you to my aunt cindy for being who she was. Thank you to my parents for teaching me what they did. Thank you to my half-sister for letting me love her as a whole. Thank you to my Italian’s who know that cousin doesn’t even begin to cut it. Thank you to my godparents given and chosen for the spiritual direction and thank you to every single person I have shared blood with. my god I love you.
Thank you to the thirteen years of ethical education and every person who has moved into my heart since the day I met them, be they still very much in my life or long since gone. Thank you to my four years in eagle rock at that thing called college. Thank you to marijuana for taking me so far away from myself that I started my journey to get back. my journey that has morphed and continued and twisted and turned to take me to where I am right now.
Thank you to the extra weight I have carried on my medium framed body for all these years that has shaped my insecurities and behaviors more than almost any one thing. Thank you for showing me I am beautiful even if I have fought you tooth and nail to believe it. Thank you for your patience with me, my dear sweet body that houses my soul. My dear sweet body whom I would literally be nothing without. Thank you for showing me how strong I really am, what I am truly capable of. Thank you for showing me what it means to tap into the feminine mystique, the feminine wiles, the feminine softness, the feminine way, the feminine reception, the feminine truth, the truth of beauty. Real inside out beauty that exists in all of us and deserves to be colorfully paraded like a peacock’s plume.
Thank you to my Hollywood life, my night club days and my roommate nights. Thank you to the discovery of my soul family number one on Magnolia Blvd. Thank you to the two people who saw me more clearly than anyone else at the time and ushered me into a life I was always too shy to admit I wanted. Thank you to the souls who share the mark, the mark of the bua’s. A mark I am most proud to wear out loud on my sleeve, on my heart, on my soul. Thank you to the expansiveness of that world, the ability to become anyone, anywhere and write words performed so beautifully by people I love so tenderly.
It’s never what you think it is, anything can happen.
Thank you to my soul family number two who I met in that mothership we call 2107. Thank you to the Drs. Hulnick who showed me what miracles are, over and over and over again and reintroduced me to a God I forgot I had known all along. Thank you to the brave souls who traveled in this ship with me. Thank you for showing up and revealing and reveling and uncovering and discovering and allowing and expressing with all of the authenticity you could muster. Thank you for seeing me. Thank you for our connection, for our discovery of who we are as worthy women, as worthy humans.
Thank you to my soul family number three who I have shared a life with behind the purple curtain working through a curriculum and a karma that only we know, only we share, only we can claim. Each and every one of you has touched my soul ad infinitum. There are actually no words for the people, places and things that have happened to me since I said yes to this job. No words at all. Well, maybe thank you, and I love you.
Speaking of love, thank you to every man I have ever loved. Or even just lusted. Thank you to men, in general. Thank you for calling me forward in my womanhood. Thank you for inspiring me to become the best most whole version of myself so that I could attract the best most whole version of you. Thank you for breaking my heart and causing me to doubt and question my beauty, my worth, my cool. Thank you for opening the deepest of wounds within me so that I could see what was really there. So that I could look in the mirror and really see, really see what was there. And so I could love her.
Thank you to the men that are doing the work to really see, to really see who they are when they look in the mirror. and those who can say to themselves, I love you man. Thank you to the men who are working towards being that man and thank you to the men that are already there. Thank you to the men that have helped me to see myself as magnificent and delicious and impossible to get out of thier minds. And thank you to the man who I do not yet know who is preparing himself to share a life together in companionship, in partnership, in sexual communion, in growth, in loving.
And thank you to my friends who show up and light up my life more than anything I could ever begin to try to capture with these words. My friends who fill my heart so full I think it may burst. Old friends, new friends, long friends, short friends, other lifetime friends, adventure friends, couch friends, food friends, gym friends, road trip friends, breathing friends, healing friends, my god the list goes on and on and on……
Thank you to these eyes that have been able to partake of all this beauty. Thank you to these hands that have the ability to translate the rush of words that consistently and constantly flow through these arms into prose, into poetry, into art. Thank you to these ears that have been blessed to hear the amazing sounds of this earth from the silence of a Sunday afternoon to the deafening beats of a Pixies concert and everything inbetween. Thank you to this mouth that has been courageous enough to speak, to sing, to kiss. And thank you to this heart that has let all of these things in, and deeply. thank you to this huge, ever expanding, unbelievable heart.
And thank you to you. Thank you for reading my words. Thank you for receiving them. Thank you for considering even for just one second that you in fact are the same as me. We bleed the same, we breath the same, we feel the same. Our shapes and configurations are completely different but we are all made up of the same thing. We are all made of love. And I thank you for letting yourself tap into that divine truth for even just one second. I lose it all the time and I thank you for giving me this very reason to remember over and over and over again.
Ok, I was mistaken, I guess I had plenty to say ;)