When I listen...
There’s something amazing that happens when we, well ok, I don’t want to speak for you….
There’s something amazing that happens when I listen. When I open my life up enough for the silence to come in. For the stillness to come in. For the inspiration to come in. For those moments when all of time stops and I become blissfully aware that this is all an illusion. That all of this mishigas I create in my head is simply fodder for my human brain.
My life is busy and has been particularly full lately. And anyone who actually knows me is likely rolling their eyes at the lately part. The truth is my calendar is always rather quite full. But this month, this month my insides urged me, begged me, made me wipe it clean. First by some very uncomfortable outside factors. Then by my own choosing.
And let me tell you, that space was and continues to be magnificent. I find myself more relaxed and able to hear what wants to be told to me. Garden, the air said. Sleep, the air said. Read, play, laugh, share, breathe, don’t plan, be led, let the urges, let the invitation, let the space lead you. Enjoy. Enjoy every damn thing this place has to offer, it is after all, for you. All of it.
And so I did. And guess what? Information and loving and enjoyment came rushing in. I no longer felt like I was doing things because I had to. I was doing things because I wanted to. And I am learning the difference between saying yes to everything that sounds like fun and reserving it for the things I actually have the bandwidth to do. And even though I may be desperately in love with an invitation and the person posing it, I may not actually have the bandwidth.
Sometimes I don’t have bandwidth for anything except my cats. Especially in times of transition, in times of change, in times of repose. Turns out I am desperately in love with these times too. And I need them more than I have realized. (Consider you might too.) Even just sitting and doing absolutely nothing at all. It’s why we go on vacation but here’s the question, why limit it to vacation?
In my inner urgings for space, this weekend I was left with two entire days to choose where to put my attention. I slept until something woke me, I ate when I was hungry. I ended up having deeply satisfying surprise visits with people. I cleared and cleaned the stacks and stacks of collected crap that had accumulated in corners all over my house. I read the newspaper. I got my hands in the dirt. I fixed my Buddha fountain that has been dry for years.
And then I went and I got my body scrubbed. All dead skin gone. It’s a treatment at a korean day spa where these wonderful women lovingly, and with gusto, truly remove every clinging cell of dead epidermis. And then they pour warm water over my body washing it away finishing with a lotion rubdown leaving me glowing, refreshed and renewed. This is something I have been wanting to do for six months. Six months and there was no time in my calendar. No place I could find to give this to myself.
And that’s ok. Sometimes, usually, we have to forget before we remember. And after this weekend I remember the importance of space. As I lay on that table I imagined every thing that no longer served me, every negative thought, every doubt, every fear, every misbelief that had been holding me back from moving forward was getting washed away. And in those spaces I imagined light filling me, infusing me with the awareness of who I really am. Love. I spent some time visioning my future but more over I was able to feel it, to sense it, to know it independent of what it actually was.
When I checked in to the spa for this treatment I got my key and it was the number 129. 129 is my number, a variation of my birthday. I giggled. Oh the universe. My world was talking to me. And I know it’s because I finally gave it the space to. And I knew the next three hours would feed my in precisely the way I needed. I knew that the six months I wanted to come all led up to the brilliance of this very experience. And I let that metaphor bleed out into all areas of my life. I don’t have to force it. I don’t have to make anything happen. I just have to show up.
Show up. Allow. Participate. Engage. Love. Find the thing that makes me come alive and do that. Until it doesn’t. Then find the next thing. Show up. Allow. Participate. Engage. Love.
I returned home to my flowing fountain and newly planted garden excited aware that my insides were tilled, my seeds were planted and my inner fountain of joy and love was very much in tact. I felt like I had returned to myself in a deeper more settled way than I had been in a while. And this week, though it’s only tuesday, has already been a myriad of mind readings and seeming coincidences.
Because I am tuned in. Because I am listening. Because I am present. Because I am allowing.
Magic happens in these moments. Pure Magic. So I accept it. And I plan to honor and revel in this space and continue to create it as much as possible. One vacation day a week I say. At least. 15 vacation minutes a day. We are so worth it. We are so worth anything that ushers us into the reception of the truth that this world is for us. That ushers us into the truth of being able to enjoy what may be the biggest gift of your life. You.
Let yourself receive of the magic that you are. Listen to the magic that you are. There is amazing information available to us in this world when we listen. Your world is talking to you, all the time, and asking you to take the space to see it, it is imparting the most important of information. Information that will reflect to you who you are and lead you to the places that will help you know yourself as that.
You are wonderful. You are amazing. You are beautiful, funny, wise, brilliant, talented, sensual, unbelievable bright, present, connected and kind.
I love you. I wish you an amazing week. A slow, spacious, delicious, fun, musical, radiant, energetic and joy filled week. I know it’s there for you…. Just listen…...