this world is just so damn big...
This world is just so damn big and yet teeny tiny all at once. 7 billion of us to be exact, and change. The paradox of it all is enough to drive a woman crazy and fill her with the fire of inspiration at the same damn time. Driving down the road with the wind in her hair and the bass pumping through her speakers, the sun on her skin soaking in all the magic of the world in every cell. All the ups and all the downs all the turn it all arounds. Remembering every moment that has ever existed in this one, because that's all there really is, this one. And planning, at the same time for every moment to ever come, in this one moment, because this one moment is really all there is.
The sun beats down a little stronger as the traffic slows to a halt and she thinks look at all these damn people. Sitting in their cars, staring out their windshields or worse staring at their phones. She thinks of all these people on this one street and then all the other streets where cars may be stopped, and then all the streets where people might walk. Like the crowded New York avenues she grew up navigating, or the empty streets of Missoula Montana where two teenagers are perhaps sharing their first french kiss in the heat of the night, or the loud, humid streets of Austin Texas where the man she once loved is probably doing drugs with the woman who let him, or the old rickety house in the back hills of Kentucky where a 90 year old couple sit in silence as they have been doing for the last 60 years fluctuating between moments of love and moments of hate because the grass is always greener and browner all at the same time and all in this moment.
In this moment, she thinks, inching her way down Wilshire boulevard, in this moment, hearts are breaking open, people are dying, people are being born and reborn over and over. People are dancing, singing, laughing and people are cowering in fear, silenced and crying. In this moment a man is thinking of a woman who is not his wife and a woman is sleeping with a man who is not her husband. In this moment children are innocently playing and learning and falling down as they grow, skinning their knees to oblivion. In this moment people are being disrespected and killed and celebrated and revered.
In this moment, this one moment we have, everything is happening to everyone all at once. All 7 billion of us to be exact, and change.
And it's enough to drive her crazy, if she let's it. And it's enough to drive her to create her wildest dreams, if she lets herself. And in fact it's enough to remind her that there's an infinite amount of possibility, there is an infinite amount of life, an infinite amount of coincidence to go around. That it's all there at our fingertips, all there for the taking in this one moment, it's all for her and it’s all magic.
She looks up as the traffic starts to move and she looks across the street and sees, stuck in traffic on the opposite side of the street, the man that she has been romantically involved with who has very little if not every reason to be there. She honks, she waves, she feebly attempts to call his name over the revs and roars of the engines around her. And the light turns green and they all drive away without connecting and yet they have connected in the deepest of ways. They all have, facing mortality and the infinite possibilities that exist in this illusion called time together in standstill traffic. And she is left to decide what it all means when the truest thing it means is that he did not see her, when the truest thing any of it means is the what isness of what it is. Nothing more nothing less. All it means is that they were in orbit and that maybe, maybe God is running out of extras, but even that's a stretch.
So she turns up the music and drives away. They all drive away into the next moment to create whatever they want. all the theys in that traffic on Wilshire Blvd, all the theys in all the traffic on every congested street. All the theys on those over crowded New York avenues and all the theys in those small towns sharing kisses for the first times or doing drugs or staring out into space from their porches next to their husbands and wives for the last 30 years. All the theys in all the places, driving away, breathing away, living their way into the very next moment to create their very next magical experience on this tiny giant earth.